Irrational behaviour

I'm pretty much done with my packing and have confirmed something I already knew about myself: I am shockingly bad at throwing stuff away. No, seriously. I've packed both my big suitcase and my little one too, for taking on my travels over the next month. Full to the brim and, given the absence of scales in this house, I can only pray I'm not over on the weight limit. I've got a bag full of ski clothes to leave at Megan's house (she doesn't know that yet, so I hope she doesn't mind) as well as 2 ski bags: my skis, poles, boots, snowboard & snowboard boots in one and Megan's skis and poles that I borrowed before I had my own in the other. I also have another set of skis which I intended to sell, but there's no point in doing it right now, better to wait until the start of next season. Again, I hope Megan doesn't mind. Thank goodness she has a basement. I also have a set of 3 boxes filled with general gumph - twinkly lights, books, DVDs, that Jagermeister bottle, that sort of thing - that I want to keep hold of for when I come back to live in Banff for the summer. On top of this, I've given a huge IKEA bag full of clothes to Rory, who lives downstairs, to keep hold of for when I return to Banff and another huge bag to Chelsea containing my cold weather boots and...well that's the thing. I can't even remember what else it's got in it, and I only packed it an hour ago. What is wrong with me? I should be able to choose the things I really need and throw away the rest. I'm going to have to do it at some point, because I can't take it all back to England with me. I have even put together a bag of stuff I really don't want anymore, which contains about, ooh, four things. Pathetic. Christ knows what Pepe is going to think when he turns up on Sunday and I can't fit everything into his car - I can only hope he's done a better job than me of consolidating his possessions.

My only (slight) justification is that the extremes of temperature here in Canada mean I've accumulated a ton of stuff appropriate for very cold weather/skiing that I just don't need now it's warm and sunny, but that I don't want to throw away because if I come back for the winter I'll need it all again. But realistically, I'm just a hoarder. I know I am. I'm terrified that if I throw away that hoodie, for example, that that is EXACTLY the hoodie I'll need, desperately, next week. I know it's irrational, but it's true.

Sigh. I really am rubbish.

Packing up again

This is what happens when you try to sort out 8 months worth of accumulated crap into 2 suitcases. It just ain't gonna happen. I'm having to develop 4 main categories: stuff to chuck, stuff to keep hold for when I come back to Banff for the summer, ski and snowboard stuff that I won't need till next winter (and only then if I stay here to work - not much use for it in England) and stuff to pack into suitcases to take with me to Edmonton/Ontario/Calgary over the next month. My 'stuff to chuck' pile is far smaller than it ought to be, because I can't bear to let anything go. I mean, I'm even keeping hold of a small empty bottle of Jagermeister, even though it wasn't ever mine because I don't drink Jagermeister, just because it's small and therefore cute. Damn me.

My room gets inspected at 6.30pm tomorrow evening by the landlords (to see how much of my damage deposit they can screw out of me, the bastards - they have previous on this so I'm not just being paranoid) and so it needs to be done by then. I leave for Megan & Craig's Sunday with Pepe, who is a French Canadian friend who needs to get to Edmonton and who has a car but no licence - as luck would have it, I have a licence but no car!

Okay, procrastinating over, back to the grindstone.

Cruise, marry, shag

You know how, when you discover something new and exciting you get a bit obsessed with it? Okay, I'll rephrase that. You know how when I discover something new and exciting I get a bit obsessed with it? Well, I've just discovered Gavin and Stacey. I say 'just' because I only watched the first episode the night before last and I say 'discovered' because somehow when the first series was on it totally passed me by. Probably because I was going around packing up my flat and being homeless and so on around that time. Nevertheless, having watched and loved the first episode, I've just spent the last 2 days catching up with both series - thank GOD for iTunes - and laughing so hard I'm fairly sure my housemates think I'm clinically insane. I've also downloaded a whole bunch of music from the fabulous soundtrack and have put together my own G&S playlist. Now of course I want to quote it insufferably, though as no one out here has seen it, I'd just get blank looks all round, so I'll just have to keep it to myself. I'll try at least. No, I can't. I really can't. I have to let just one out.

I won't lie to you, it's tidy.

Reds are green

Hahaha. I just went to see Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which is a frankly ludicrous film, but entertaining nonetheless. However, on my return I noticed on the BBC website that the members of the Russian communist party are calling for it to be banned on the basis that it "distorts history". They said that teenagers watching it would be "completely unaware of what happened in 1957" (when the film is set) and that "[events in the film are] rubbish... In 1957 the communists did not run with crystal skulls throughout the US."

Now I'm fairly sure that the Russians have a point here and that communists did not run with crystal skulls throughout the US (or indeed throughout Peru, which is where the running with crystal skulls actually takes place in the film). I'm also pretty sure that a bunch of Hobbits never walked all the way to Mordor to throw a magical ring back in to the fires of Mount Doom, that Michael J Fox never went back into the past and then back again to the future in a De Lorean and I'm pretty damn sure a giant ape never climbed the Empire State building, but it doesn't mean we haven't enjoyed watching films about such events in the name of entertainment over the years.

In the words of Boney M: '"Oh those Russians".

Ride 'em cowboy!

Just a quickie to say both Chelsea & I got offered jobs at the Stampede as bussers (people who seat customers, chat to them, then clear up when they go) in the Budweiser tent, which was not quite what we wanted, but all the bartending & serving jobs had gone already, despite it only being the second day of 2 weeks of interviews! We've accepted them - there will be some tips though not the big bucks we were hoping for - but I'm also pursuing an alternative avenue of bartending jobs through a friend of some guy I met on the bus back from Sunshine a few days ago. Hey, you gotta try everything, right? But if that doesn't come off, we'll go with what we have. Incidentally, and much to my amusement, my job offer sheet actually says 'Position: Bus'. I do hope this doesn't mean I have to offer free rides...

In other news I've just finished A Spot of Bother (the new book by Mark Haddon, author of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time) which was absolutely superb and I heartily recommend it. Brilliant characterisation - the best written child I've ever read - great story, pin sharp observations and hilarious to boot. Utterly unputdownable, if such a word exists, which, if not, it should. It made me feel terribly nostalgic for home, because it's so very, very English, and as such, so dry I would have to advise you not to smoke around it.

The end and the beginning

The Slush Cup at Sunshine traditionally signals the end of the season and provides the opportunity for an enormous piss-up, for both staff and guests. This year was no exception.

I hadn't quite got my head around exactly what the Slush Cup was. I knew it was a bunch of competitors, who were dressed up in weird & wonderful ways, skiing down a hill towards a pool of water in the hopes of getting across it in an upright position. What I hadn't worked out was how big the run up was, how big the pool was and how wet I'd get sitting next to it. It was great, and I had enormous fun, but wished I'd remembered Susan's advice to bring a spare pair of shoes and socks. Frozen tootsies aside, the party afterwards with the hog roast and the fire in the car park was awesome.

Good thing I don't drink, of course, because I had a job interview this morning for Canadian Mountain Holidays. After an hour of chatting about everything from midwifery to mechanical engineering over a nice cup of coffee, I was offered the job as Summer Exchange Co-ordinator, which is basically the person who gets guests and their luggage onto the bus in Banff, rides with them to the heli-pad and sees them off for their heli-hiking excursions. Then I will gather up the group of weary travellers who are arriving back from their trip, and bus them back to Banff, all the while on-hand to provide useful titbits of information about the Rockies and their inhabitants. Not difficult, but takes a certain kind of chatty, organised person*. Of course the fact that this is also the same company who does heli-skiing, and that they have already said that opportunities to work with the company over winter may well arise, has little to do with how excited I am about my new job; oh no, I was swayed by the fact that during the bus journeys I can eat as many muffins as I want. Read it and weep. I start as soon as I finish working the Calgary Stampede, assuming tomorrow's job interview goes well of course. As always, gentle reader, I'll let you know.

Slush Cup photos here.

*i.e. me

Those darn teenagers, eh?

Just had a guest in to buy tickets who, during the course of our transaction, discovered I was English. He obviously wanted to show off his impressive knowledge of our slang terms, so told me that he had told his daughter, who had come skiing the previous day, to use sunscreen, but she had refused. "So now she's at home wanking about her blistered nose..."

I managed to prevent myself laughing in his face but when he followed up with "But that's 13 year olds for you, isn't it?" I really couldn't help myself.

To infinity...and beyond!

I have new hair. I'm quite pleased with it, and it wasn't extortionately expensive either (though not cheap either, when you're on the kind of money I earn out here). It had got ridiculously long (not been cut since last August) but quite straggly with it, and two-tone (not the record label) since it hadn't been highlighted for nearly a year. So now at least I feel like I have a bit more of a hairdo, if you know what I mean.

Sunshine closes on Monday. So only one more weekend of work - officially I'm off on Monday but I'm going in to work for a couple of hours before going up the hill to watch the Slush Cup, which I understand is unmissable. People launching themselves across a big pool of water on skis, dressed as farmyard animals and the like, that sort of thing. Then, at the end of the day when the guests go home, the staff have a big party with several spit roast pigs. Sounds excellent.

And what next? Well, my (somewhat tentative) plan for June is to visit Megan & Craig, before heading to Ontario - possibly via Quebec to meet up with my friend Fiona who'll be there for a conference - to visit my cousin Tine who I haven't seen for donkeys' years, then up to see the very lovely Isaac, the delightful Jordan (both of whom worked at Sunshine, Isaac with me at Guest Services) and Isaac's wonderful parents* to spend my birthday 'mudding'. Can't wait.

Following this trip I will be heading back west. Chelsea & I have interviews next week for work at the Calgary Stampede (the greatest outdoor show on Earth!) which will be taking place for 10 days in July, so fingers crossed we get the jobs and make a bit of cashiola. Then to Vancouver Island for Megan & Craig's wedding at the end of July. And then....well I'm not sure yet. I have to leave when my visa runs out on September 4th but could do anything up till then. Suggestions on a postcard** please...

*His dad is called Emo. Seriously! How cool is that?!
**that means my comments box, obviously

Food for thought

Following on from the other evening, when JK & I sat and talked nearly all night about food we missed from back home (though he's now gone home and is probably eating it all, the lucky devil), here's a list of things I crave:

• Good, tasty, fresh bread. Almost all bread out here is largely tasteless, slightly sweet, with a strange, airy, spongy texture, which goes stale within a day. You can't even spread butter on sliced bread - even toasted! - without it crumbling. Oh for a Sainsbury's multigrain loaf or a decent baguette.
• Nice Brussels paté. Or a chicken liver parfait. Or duck liver paté with port. Or any decent paté to be honest.
• Decent strong cheddar. I've managed to find one at Safeways which isn't too bad (it tastes of something at least) and there's a deli here that does some really nice cheeses (including St Agur, which I just had for lunch), though it's criminally expensive. A wheel of Epoisse is $25! This is what passes for 'normal' cheese out here and it's revolting.
• Branston pickle. After years of not eating it because Cross & Blackwell was owned by Nestlé, when they sold it I was very happy I could re-indulge, particularly with a strong cheddar on Ryvita, but now I can't even buy it. I heard a rumour you could buy it in President's Choice supermarket but there's not one near here so what good is that to me?
• Cranberry & blackcurrant juice, which was my main tipple back home. Ocean Spray don't sell that particular combo out here, the closest is cranberry & grape which is foul. There's no really nice, easy to buy cartons of juice here - everything's sweetened to destruction - and though you can buy nice frozen concentrated orange juice*, it's a bit of a pain to mix and store it. Anyway, end result is I tend to buy and drink tons of easy-to-reach-for cans of Coke, which I hate doing as it makes me feel dirty. I can almost feel my cellulite getting worse with every sip.
• Curry. Indian food is not a big thing here, there's only one curry house in Banff, which is expensive, and the one time I ate there I was very disappointed. It all just tasted blah. Didn't even do nice poppadums, just the baked ones, and there was no lime pickle or raita in sight. I can buy and fry my own poppadums, which are very nice but takes up time, effort and mess, so is a bit of a pain when it's just you. But Kate & I used to have 'poppadum evenings', where we'd make up a huge stack of them and scoff the lot with yoghurt dip. Good days, good days.
• Gü chocolate soufflé. There's nowt like it.
• Chocolate digestives. They do sell them for $4 for a small packet in Canmore but I can't get there very often.
• Rachel's Organic Greek Style coconut yoghurt. Rich, thick, creamy, coconutty. What's not to love?
• Mozzarella. Now, you can buy mozzarella over here, but it's a hard, usually ready-grated cheese to put on pizzas, that bears no resemblance to a ball of soft, delicious buffalo mozza. Oh how I miss its creamy goodness.
• And for that matter, Parma ham. Not seen hide nor hair of the stuff.

That'll probably do for now, though there are inevitably many others that I can't bring to mind just now. There are things out here that I think are just as good if not better than back home - cupcakes for one - but they're few and far between. No wonder I'm actually losing weight at the moment.

*do you remember Waitrose used to sell this back in the day? I used to eat it like a sorbet. Yum.

They think it's all over...

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the t-shirts... we woke up yesterday to several inches of snow. Only a few days ago I got sunburnt sitting out of the terrace having a BBQ (see left), wishing I'd brought some shorts to Canada with me; the Rockies have a tendency to do this sort of thing apparently. It continued 'puking snow', as they say over here, all day. This is known locally, incidentally, as a 'big dump' (with somewhat different connotations to those it might bring to mind back home). Today, however, the weather was warm and sunny, and it was fascinating to see how quickly it was all melting again, here in town at least. Walking* along past the shops, the snow melting at breakneck speed down from the roofs made it appear to be raining. Hard. Below are pictures of the morning and the afternoon outside the Beaver to illustrate my point.

Personally, although I've heard lots of people complaining about the winter conditions returning, in truth I love the snow. That is what Banff means to me, a snowy little mountain town, so even though the warm weather, and its concomitant benefits of not having to think about the adequacy of thermals, hats and coats all the time, has been most welcome, I still miss the snow. It makes everything beautiful, pure and exciting. I see a field of virgin snow and always want to run around** in it, or make snow angels.

So, taking my life into my own hands with crutches on icy pavements, I made my painfully slow way to the hospital this morning for a check up. It turns out my recovery is going very well indeed, they x-rayed me again and said the break was not really discernible now, hairline, if that, and that the reason it's still so painful is that I've torn my gastrocs muscle. I've been booked in for physio starting next week, have been advised to start trying to walk on it and wean myself off the cast (I have a removable sports cast). So all in all, recovery going well. Hurray!

*okay okay, hobbling
**yes yes, a girl can dream, can't she?

Not with a bang

Where the hell has this last week gone? Well, I can tell you actually. It's passed in a blur of hobbling around on crutches and painkillers, unable to weight bear, or carry anything, or shower (don't worry, I am still able to wash), or cook very easily, or go out anywhere without it being a major effort. I feel like I have called in every one of my favours from my friends and would rather stand and eat something at the work surface than have to ask one of my housemates to carry my food into the lounge again. I have gone back to work, for the 2 weeks remaining of the season, which is fine but frustrating whenever a guest asks me to do something that involves getting up from my seat. They see my crutches and feel guilty, and say it doesn't matter, and I say no it's fine and hobble off, but then feel guilty for making them feel guilty.

It doesn't help that most of my friends have now left Banff. Those of us who remain are growing smaller in number by the day and I feel very alone all of a sudden. Now Darrell's gone home (never to return incidentally) I don't really have anyone to hang out with, as all of those who remain already have - or have recently formed - partnerships of one form or another which occupies their time. I can't climb, so Chelsea has had to find alternatives to me to belay her. I can't ski, so I have the big, empty house, with its limited charms, to myself on days off while everyone else goes off to make the most of the snow whilst it remains. I can't bring myself to look through old photos at the moment, because I sometimes feel the almost palpable nostalgia for how great it all was such a short time ago will kill me. I could feasibly go out of an evening as long as it's nearby, or I could take a cab, but the opportunity has yet to arise. Days off are spent watching endless TV shows - thank God for iTunes BBC/C4 downloads - and trying to chat to far-flung friends on facebook, and the evenings differ little. If I weren't so goddamn gimpy, my seemingly limitless frustration would have me running for the mountains.

And so the season ends. Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

My Beaver is broken; I have a broken Beaver

Today Kate, Laura, Andrew & Sparkle all left the Beaver for pastures new. Kate is going back to the UK for a brief visit (to get her fill of Scottish men I'd wager) before heading home to Perth, Australia; Laura & Andrew are heading to Andrew's home of Newfoundland for a spot of Meet The Parents before also going to Australia to work as snowboard instructors for their winter; Sparkle is heading home to Bristol. We've had such a good crew here, we've all been so close, that it's hard to imagine that they're not going to step out of their rooms and watch Friends, South Park, Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares or Flight of the Conchords with us anymore. The Beaver, and Banff itself, will never be the same without them and the Queens of Beaver, as seen above, no longer rule as one.

To Kate: there has never been a better person to sit in the kitchen with at 6.30am and moan about how awful it is getting up at that time of the morning. I'm so glad we managed to get you in as our flatmate ("she's quite quiet, but she's very sweet when you get to know her") and want to thank you for being the best kisser in Banff. Wear the green top often and think of me.

To Laura: I'd never have ended up at the Beaver if I hadn't met you first on the way to Canada from Heathrow. You're the most rank* chick I know and I'm going to miss you and your surreal sense of humour hugely. You have always very kindly and enthusiastically laughed at my jokes and for that I'm extremely grateful.

To Andrew: your hugs might have made me cry but I loved every one of them. Thank you for your relaxed** way of always making me feel better about everything. Your testicles shall remain unsurpassed. I hope you get a bit more sodomy action now you're back in Newfoundland.

To Will, a.k.a. Sparkle Barbie Horse: you are quite simply one of the most amazingly talented and naturally funny people I've ever met. I'll never forget the night you found out just how old I was. Thank you so much for the lovely things you said to me then, on Australia Day and last night; they meant so much and right back atcha baby.




I'm missing you all so much already.





*Laura insists this is now a good thing
** or quite possibly stoned