You put your left leg in, your left leg out...

So what exactly is it, do you suppose, about my left leg? This morning I woke up with an additional four - count 'em - bites, this time around my left knee. Terribly itchy. The buggers.

Three more bites - left ankle this time - and counting...

So Bland the Con of Man

Did the Da Vinci Code thing. Had to be done. It was just what I expected: ok.

When I read the book - before much of the hype fortunately - my friend Rosie told me that I'd probably really enjoy it, but I would hate myself for doing so; I knew exactly what she meant. You felt like you were being manipulated on every page and I wanted to rig up some sort of sound effect button so at the end of every chapter I could go 'Da da DAAAHHHH...' Hmmm. That might not come across. Anyway, I actually thought it was written like a film script so I was unsurprised to find that the film worked quite well as a thriller, if you like that kind of thing. Which, generally, I don't. Thought Audrey Tatou was underused and just came across as a bit petulant to be honest. Ian McKellan was the best thing in it.

Have discovered the downside to living next to a lake: the insects. If I leave my window open of an evening, the place is stuffed full of them and boy! do they like me. I suppose I should be flattered, but I woke up with 9 bites the other day and it's hard to take that the right way. The strange thing is, the bites were nearly all along my stomach, right where the waistband of my pyjamas were, not to mention the duvet that was on top. Maybe they took pity on my sad, single status and were just trying to snuggle with me.

My television blew up the day before yesterday. Well, to be honest, it's not even my television, which makes it worse of course. I've been borrowing it from my dad & stepmum while to try to save up for one of my own (proving harder than I thought - this 'owning a flat' business is bloody expensive) and the other day it suddenly went BANG! and the picture died. The sound is fine, strangely. Any ideas? Worth getting it repaired or would it be prohibitively expensive? I need to get one of my own anyway so maybe I should just bite the bullet and buy one, there seems to be loads on eBay but too much choice leads to much indecision, I usually find. In the meantime, I have a 14" portable that I've put in the lounge which is fine, as long as I remember to bring my binoculars...

So: any makes I should avoid/seek? Any features you find are indispensible?

The Web Co-operative

I love a good podcast, me. And they don't come no better* than The Geoff Show, which is the most consistently fabulous show on radio. For example, a couple of weeks ago they did a podcast-only broadcast, where they discovered that if you put cheap white wine through a soda stream, it tasted just like the very best champagne. Tomato soup was less successful. Just so's you know. They also have 101 phone-in topics (listed on their website) which include: 'I work in a photo developing lab and guess what I once saw', 'Shop names/road signs/people's names that make you sing a little song in your head' and 'Inanimate objects which you can't help putting on your head or wearing in some way'. Tonight they mentioned that they are starting a 'web co-operative' where, if you link to their show from your blog (check), mention them in a posting (check) and then inform them (check), they'll link to your blog from their website. Coolerama.

They also have been discussing the following legal quandry: if a conjoined twin was found guilty of committing a murder, but the other twin had nothing to do with it and was found innocent, what kind of sentence (if any) could they expect?

Answers on an e-postcard please...

*You just can't tell I'm from Surrey, can you?

Wonderful Wonderful Dronninglund

I'm off to Denmark! I'm going for a week next month, when I was just going to be arsing around on annual leave anyway, to visit my cousin Camilla and her husband Jesper. I shall also get to finally meet her daughter Josefine and see her son Benjamin for the first time since he was 6 weeks old. Cool. And the best bit? The total cost of the flights came to a whopping £22.

Taking orders now for stinky Danish cheese and flaeskesvaer...

Did you see this? One of those 'watch through your fingers' moments. Oh the look of shock/horror on his face when they announce his name...

Crack open the champagne...

...dust down the chandeliers and give me a leg up onto the back of a Polo pony; I have finally joined the ranks of the rich and famous and got myself a Gold credit card. Oh yes.

It all started when I received a letter from Virgin (boo! hiss!) telling me that the rate on my current card was being increased to 25%. What?! I only have a fairly modest balance on there - by most people's standards anyway - a balance I'm trying at the moment to clear completely, but at that rate it was going to take me forever. I also have one other credit card with a much smaller balance with my wonderful bank, First Direct. I decided to take the advice of the most excellent Martin Lewis, at Money Saving Expert, and called First Direct to ask them if they'd cut my rate. They said well, no, but given that you earn so much money (yes, the secret's out, I am the only person the NHS pays a FORTUNE!) we can convert your card to a Gold card and then we'll give you a preferential rate. That will do nicely. I've now transferred my balance from Virgin so they can stick their 25% right up their...

Lake Perry Como; or Three Countries In One Day; or How To Come Back From Switzerland With Your Bag Zipping Up The Other Way Round

So Sunday morning my friend Suzie and I, deeply glamorous couple that we are, flew off to Milan. We landed in Bergamo and picked up the hire car I'd, erm, hired. I was the Tour Manager - as the blog name suggests - and had done all the booking, printing off of confirmation numbers and vouchers, took care of the passports and boarding cards and arranged for transport at 5am to Stansted (thanks Dad!). All went smoothly, natch. I drove us to Como (via Lecco in case you're interested, rather than taking the less interesting route via the motorway. Yes, more risk of getting lost but hey, we were in no hurry). Como, as many have since informed me, boasts George Clooney as one of its inhabitants and no, before you ask, he hadn't asked me to stay. This time.

We arrived in Como and called Linda (my friend/former student/client and mother of the baby - Chiara - being Christened), who informed us she and her boyfriend were having lunch with several couples who had flown in from England and we headed off to join them. During a meal featuring the best pesto I've ever had, Linda mentioned that Paddy and Anita, a couple from Australia living in England, were thinking of going to Switzerland. How lovely, I ventured, how long for? Oh just for a quick drink! came the reply. Huh? Where is Switzerland then? I asked. Oh, about 20 mins that way... Why not?

So after a long-winded attempt to find our hotel (Como, despite the best efforts of the Tour Manager with my usually excellent sense of direction, is a one-way tangle of a nightmare) which involved an urgent stop off to pass water in a highly unsuitable and unpleasant location (I'll leave that story there I think) we ended up meeting up with the lovely Chris & Sue, also staying at our hotel, and driving over to Switzerland. Three countries in one day. I'm practically American.

Switzerland was lovely and very picturesque as you can see. We went for a nice walk in a park and had a drink at a bar. I had to get some Swiss Francs out as we only had Euros - what fabulous looking currency! At some point I went to put something in my bag and to my dismay, the zip came off in my hand. Damn. I really like that bag (Clarks, would you believe?) and spent the rest of the time in Switzerland fiddling with it, trying to repair the damage. If anyone's ever tried to force a zipper back onto a zip, you'll know just what a futile experience it can be. So imagine my surprise when I attempted to be inventive and try fitting it on the opposite way it usually zipped and voila! (or the Italian equivalent) it slipped on a treat. I used the bobbin pin that I keep tucked inside the inside pocket of the bag for adjusting my windscreen washers (yes, I really am that person) to secure the dodgy end and the bag was as good as new. Practically. Still throws me when I try to zip it open but I'll get used to it I'm sure. Back to Como for a meal, although what with it being Sunday night and us not actually heading out till 9.30pm, we found it difficult to find a restaurant to accomodate us and ended up going to the only restaurant in Italy that microwaved pasta dishes for us. Hmmm.

The following morning was the Christening. We followed Linda to the church and sat through the service which was, naturally, in Italian, so we had no idea what was going on and just followed everyone's cues as to when we were supposed to sit/stand/kneel. I swear to God that at one point the priest said something about 'Joe Pasquale'. Suzie agrees. The church was elaborate, as all good Catholic churches must be. Chiara was very good when the priest tried to drown her and merely looked mildly surprised, as though this wasn't quite what she had planned for today, but hey, why not? The weather was lovely and we milled around afterwards whilst everyone fussed over Chiara, looking very pretty in her pink dress, and who eventually got a little bored of us all.

Afterwards we went to the church hall for a little light refreshments and chit chat. Linda's brother is a chef and had prepared a little bit of food...and then some. What a spread! Parma ham on the bone and a huge hunk of gorgeous parmesan, as well as lots of antipasti and little bits of, well, all sorts of stuff. Yum. Lots of Sicilian wine (I had orangeade). Also a chef outside deep frying little bits of artichoke, courgette and even courgette flower in batter, which was absolutely delicious.

When we'd eaten and drunk our fill the English contingent headed off to Como, as Linda's niece was being Confirmed - we couldn't take any more kneeling/standing confusion - and Suzie and I decided to head up the funicular railway to see the view. Very nice indeed. Back to the restaurant where we had the fab pesto for dinner - hey, if it ain't broke?

Back home on Tuesday morning. Boo!