I had a slightly strange start to the day today. At just before 7am I heard some banging which woke me up, but I wasn't sure at first if it was the kittens knocking something over. Then I heard the doorbell going and some more furious banging, so I got up and went to the door and it was my neighbour from downstairs, Rachael, who was in a real state. Her boyfriend had just collapsed outside the front of the flats, fallen backwards down a few steps, and was lying in a pool of blood outside, having cut his head open. I called an ambulance and grabbed a clean flannel to stem the bleeding till the ambulance arrived, all the while trying to reassure them both. He has cancer and I suspect that was the reason for the fall. The ambulance arrived very quickly and they were great. Once they'd gone I got a bucket of water and cleaned away the blood outside, so the neighbours weren't greeted with the sight of it when they got up (mind you, with the hailstorm that came a few hours later I probably needn't have bothered), fed the kittens and then slumped back into bed...

When I woke up a few hours later I wasn't sure if I'd dreamt it!

I'm a famous tranny

Last night the fabulous Geoff Show on Virgin Radio gave me an honourable mention. I had entered a competition to win a Sony Bravia HD ready LCD tv and Sky HD package - well, who wouldn't? In order to do so I had to submit an invention - the feasibility of which was irrelevant incidentally - which went as follows:

Remember when you were a kid and you used to collect fake tattoos from bubblegum wrappers? You placed them on your arm, rubbed it, and it tranferred onto your skin? Well my idea is to update this idea for the busy modern woman. Why not have make-up transfers? You could have a whole face shaped mask which you placed over your face, give it a gentle rub, and it would transfer the ready-blended eyeshadow, rouged cheeks and even lipstick to your face in a matter of seconds!

Well, this went down VERY well on the show, with my use of the word 'rouge' (carefully chosen I hasten to add) leading to much speculation about whether I was a transvestite. I think Geoff thought I was a clear winner but sadly the listeners' vote put me at joint last place! Damn their unGodly eyes. Even Geoff asked what was wrong with them?

Anyway if you want to hear the whole encounter then you can listen to it here or download the podcast for Thursday 16th November. It's about 25 minutes in... But be quick! Podcasts aren't available for ever!

Please be seated

In order to avoid those terribly embarrassing everyone-standing-around-
the-table-and-bending-their-
knees-to-eat moments, I decided to buy some folding chairs to go with my lovely folding table. I managed to pick up four of these little babies from eBay for £21.01. So now my guests no longer have to brush up on their pilates in preparation for my dinner parties...

A creative period

Stuck for a gift? Want to make good use of what you have lying around the house and utilise your creative talents? Here's your solution. Make me something nice for Christmas, won't you...?

Jen? I want to see your Christmas tree covered in these little gems.

Bargain of the Month #3

Because everyone who's been to my flat for dinner has had to eat off their knees, I've been looking for a dining room table but, as those of you who have been to my flat for said dinner will know, I have sod all space to put one. I have therefore been looking for a fold-up/gateleg table but had yet to see one that was a) small enough or b) cheap enough for the task. Then I spotted Habitat had quite a nice one (I've been trying to upload a couple of pictures but blogger is being 'gay', as the young people would say, and won't bloody do it) which folded up really small. It was £119, which frankly I don't have at the moment, but pretty reasonable for a table so I put it on the back burner for when I have a windfall (haha). Then, whilst browsing on eBay the other day I spotted just such a table, 2 years old but in good condition. The auction finished last night and, after persuading my dad to do the bidding for me because I was at Ruedawang, I managed to secure the table for the bargain price of £26.01. I thank you. Just need to find some cheap eBay chairs now...

Ah, can upload piccies now:



By the way, these are the pictures from eBay so no, this is not my kitchen!

Oh and I just had my bedroom carpet cleaned and the clever chap managed to remove the mysterious stains that have been there since I moved in. Hurrah!